Shopping For Clothes

I hate shopping for clothes. It is a necessary evil that I dread and put off as long as possible. I can go years without buying anything more than t-shirt at Target. I can go even longer if my mom or sister buy me a nice top for Christmas. But at some point, things get desperate and I have no choice but to head out to the mall in search of new clothes.

Tonight was that night.

Ben is 9 weeks old and I am within a pound of two of my original weight. Unfortunately my lumpy spots moved around and I ended up with a whole new shape. A shape that will continue to change for another six or eight months before it settles. Aside from old t-shirts, I'm limping through this extremely hot summer on one pair of jean shorts, one pair of jean capris, two pairs of jeans, and about five shirts - three of which are the exact same style but different colors. I can manage on that, but I also have to go to work and my options for work clothes are awful. None of my button down shirts will button. None of my dresses will zip past the bra line. The skirts that fit have no shirt to match. And most of everything else is long sleeved winter clothing.

I did leave the house tonight with a bit of optimism. A small bit, but a bit. I walked confidently into the first store and began searching out women's clothing. That wasn't so hard to find, but locating clothes in my size turned out to be a real challenge. Apparently I'm somewhere between a Lady and a Woman. Not that it matters much since the clothes are so mixed up anyway. I clearly do not understand the logic of how women's clothing stores are laid out. The petite and the 26W kept showing up and it seemed the store completely forgot to stock a basic 12 or 14. I finally found four items to take to the dressing room - and struck out on all four. Hanging those on the discard rack I went back for more punishment. Sure enough, the next four looked better on the hanger as well. 

And on and on it went. I shopped through four department stores tonight and did not buy a single article of clothing. By the time I got to the last store, the ugly 'colorful' dresses they were trying to sell were causing me to twitch just looking at them. I saw shirts and dresses you can buy that have a necklace, pearls or gold chains, already attached so you don't have to remember to accessorize. The vast majority of the dresses and skirts for sale are made of a nice, silky material that clings. Hello? It clings!  I saw lots of gold buttons and flashy silver sequins. Animal prints and peasant clothes. It's a wonder any of these stores are still in business... or maybe that's why so many are struggling. Who buys this stuff?

I knew it was time to quit, though, when I came across a rack in the last store marked 'One Size'. I very nearly laughed out loud. Seriously? One Size? They were dresses. The clingy kind. And I guarantee you there is no way they were one size. Or maybe they were - all size 4.

So I came home empty handed. (My husband has no idea just how lucky he is to have a wife who hates to clothing shop.) Unfortunately I still need some clothes that fit. Some that don't make me look like a sixty year old woman or a stuffed marshmallow. I've put it off as long as possible, but sometime next week I'll be back out there ... in a different part of town ... trying to find clothing for this mushy post-partum body ... and rolling my eyes at the ridiculous.