I'm confessing here that I told a lie this morning. Well, not exactly. I mean it wasn't a flat out lie. I never said the words. But I did lead someone to believe something not true. And then I reinforced the lie on paper. Although I didn't do a very good job at it and if the guy had any sense whatsoever, he had to see right through it.
Ok. Here's the truth.
I pretended to be my brother's wife so that the guy from the large home improvement store would install his new dishwasher. Ugh!
The large home improvement store, which will remain unnamed, has some new policy requiring that the purchaser of an appliance be present for the installation. My brother isn't driving right now, due to a medical issue, and it wasn't possible for him to be home. He isn't even living in his own house right now because mom and dad have to take him to work every morning. So in order to get the dishwasher put in, he told them his "wife" would be there. Me.
There are two guys who rent rooms at my brother's house, but they had already left for work when I arrived with my kids. Thank goodness. The kitchen was a mess. I'm not the best housekeeper, but this was gross. I threw out a bowl of green bean casserole, an egg carton with 3 eggs left, lots of empty containers and wrappers, pop cans, and leftover shake-n-bake. Then I walked in the living room and had to race Daniel to the plates from last night's dinner. (at least I assumed it was last night!) I scraped off the chicken bones and stacked the plates on the counter. Then I opened the old dishwasher. Full. Thank goodness it was full of CLEAN dishes or I might've gone through the roof! Instead I quickly emptied it and then sorted the weeks of mail scattered over the entire kitchen table. The trash was overflowing and I filled two more trash bags from what was on the floor. All this before the dishwasher guy showed up.
When he did arrive and I answered the door, he said "Mrs. *****?" And I carefully avoided acknowledging the name with, " Hi! How are you?" By the time he left, he had to know I didn't live there. I had trouble find a towel to sop up the water. I had to call my "husband" to find out where the electrical panel was located. There were no toys, high chairs, or anything for my two kids. Wires and cords for TVs, speakers, computers, cell phones, etc. were strung everywhere. HIS phone rang and I went to answer the house phone. Dead giveaway! When he asked me to confirm that this was the right dishwasher, I really couldn't say more than that "it looks right, but it's been a long time since we saw it in the store." Pathetic. And then to top it all off, I had to sign for it. I knew I was supposed sign Stephen's last name, but I goofed at the last minute. So I scratched through it and claimed the pen wasn't writing. I guessed at the address and wrote really, really, really sloppy.
In the end, I don't think the guy cared who I was. But the whole thing did remind me a bit of Abraham, who told the King of Gerar that his wife was his sister.....