You Can't Make A Good Pie Out Of Bad Berries

My grandma is both famous and infamous for her pies. When she makes a good one, it's very, very good. But when she makes a bad one...well...she really makes a bad one. Sometimes she runs out of fruit so she just throws in whatever other fruits are available. There have been a few interesting combinations. And a lot of teasing! Other times she runs out of crust or occasionally forgets an ingredient. But when she gets it right, her pies are delicious!

Last weekend was apparently a mixed bag in the pie department. Someone generously shared a bag of berries with her, which she promptly turned into two pies- one for the house and one to take to the family reunion. Brenna tasted the first one, then turned to ask Papa if she had to eat it. If the five year old won't eat the pie, it might be lacking a little something.

Dad tasted it and told Grandma that the berries were sour. He suggested that a little sugar might help. A sugar dusting on the crust failed to remedy the situation, so she took the whole top crust off and added more. Then she replaced the sugar crust and cut the pie into squares in order to hide the fact that she'd removed its top. She really thought she was going to fool the whole family.

She didn't.

According to Grandma only one man at the family reunion liked her pie. I think she told him he could have it, but in the end I heard it got dumped.

I'm glad I didn't know about this BEFORE I ate the pie she sent back to us. This must've been a crust-shortage pie, because it has three stripes across the top. These were berries she'd picked herself, and this pie was good! I also heard she made a yummy peach pie with fruit she picked in her back yard. ( I didn't even know you could grow peaches in Ohio.)

Two good - Two bad. I'm just glad I got a good one!

Hillbilly Horseshoes

Since we're on the topic of hillbillies, I suppose now would be a good time to mention corn hole again. Somehow I missed this phenomenon. While it's popular on college campuses and the small towns of eastern Ohio, it apparently skipped the young, suburban families of Richmond. As far as I can tell, the only corn hole set in my circle is in my brother's backyard, and belongs to one of his renters.

(I'd love to point out that his house is on southside so it makes sense that the hillbilly game would show up there....but I just posted a video of me rolling down a hill, so I think I'll keep my mouth shut.)

If you've never heard of corn hole, the simplest explanation I can give you is 'hillbilly horseshoes'. Instead of poles, there are slick angled boards, with a hole near the top. Instead of throwing horseshoes, you throw beanbags. Three points for the hole, one for landing on the board. The other team can cancel your points by throwing the same and you play to 21.

Here's a picture of some of my family playing on the Fourth.

It's so much harder than it looks. And if you think otherwise, I'll prove you wrong just as soon as I get my dad to help us make a set. 'Cause this house so needs a corn hole set! It'll help me channel my inner hillbilly.

One thing's for sure - I'll make certain my beanbags are filled properly and sewn well! Apparently a beanbag burst in my brother's back yard and he had bean plants growing everywhere!

Hillbilly Roll

Most times our visits to Ohio bring out my inner child. I get there and suddenly revert to a ten year old - perhaps because that's how old I was when we moved. It happens in my interactions with my grandparents, aunts, and uncles...and it happens in my head. In my efforts to share all that is Ohio with my kids, I sometimes give it all I've got.

If ever you thought me dignified and grown up, we'll put those ideas to rest today. On a cool summer day at Nana's, I simply cannot resist the draw of the hill behind her house. It beckons me come and teach my kids its never ending fun.

Here I present ...... The Hillbilly Roll.

Ohio Notes

I'm so tired I can barely hold my eyes open, but I feel compelled to get a post up. Can't think straight so I'm going for the list. It fits the week anyway, which was all packing lists - to do lists - to buy before we leave lists - to put in the car lists - to do while we're there lists - to do before we leave lists - to put back in the car lists - to do at home lists - and finally, to buy at the grocery store when we get home. Yeah, definitely a list week.

* Weather was great. It rained a few days, but it never got hot. Actually it never even got warm enough to go swimming in Nana's pool. We were pretty bummed about that. But the breeze that blows most every day there is absolutely perfect.

* I got duped at the Amish Door Bakery and bought six humiliated cream sticks. Yes, Amish people tricked me. (Or maybe they were Mennonite, but still!) I get all disappointed again just thinking about it. We went there specifically to buy cream sticks because they are heavenly. First of all they were out of the maple ones when we arrived, but I held back the tears and ordered two chocolates, two vanillas, and two powdered sugars. I held them on my lap all the way back to Nana's so that they wouldn't get crushed or melted in the trunk. When I cut into the chocolate one, it oozed out yellow pudding stuff, not the white cream that is supposed to fill a creme stick. So I cut into all the others, and discovered the same. Now I have to find a new creme stick supplier...someone who knows how to make them right.

* Daniel only had one major potty issue all week....and he saved it for the ride home. Just north of Fredericksburg on 522 South. "Ooohh, Mommy! poo-poo." I turned to look and sure enough, I could see it. Which meant it was a mess. In the underwear. So we pulled off the side of the road for emergency toxic waste removal.

* I got to spend time with a 2nd or 3rd cousin (not sure how all that genealogy stuff works - his mom and my mom are cousins) and his new wife. They were wonderful! Brenna played with their kids and we all made plans to do Busch Gardens together next year on their vacation. No doubt if we lived closer, we'd be good friends with them.

* We went to a Minstrel show (not what you're thinking) on Thursday night. It was essentially a patriotic chorus concert and joke night combined.

* Brenna got to spend the night with my cousins in their tent. I'm told she stayed up to 1:27.

* I learned to play corn hole. A whole post on that is coming. And yes, my dear small group, I intend to teach you...just as soon as we get our set made.

* We saw a side of some folks we wish we hadn't. It's weighed heavily on us and we've talked it through many times. Not a topic for blog discussion, other than to say it's hard to understand why people say/do what they do sometimes. And how they justify it.

* I survived my second internet detox in three weeks. I thought I'd miss email and Facebook, but what I really missed was writing. Putting my thoughts and stories here.

* Daniel and Brenna got new Buckeye plates for dinner and I got an OSU chip and salsa plate. Perfect for game days this fall.


There are a few more tidbits from the trip that I'll put up in separate posts. For now, this list will do. I'm going to bed. : )

Weekend Pictures

It has been a wonderfully busy weekend and I'm tired. So I'm taking the lazy way out and posting pictures only tonight. Hopefully tomorrow I can coherently add detail to images.

Sledding In Ohio

6 days without internet access is bit tough for one so addicted to her computer. The kids and I made a surprise trip to Ohio with my parents. Not everything went quite as planned.... somewhere around Pittsburgh their van got the shakes. That left the kids and I without transportation during our stay. Which was really ok because we went sled riding!!! Real sled riding! Down a real hill!



Where we live, we mostly get ice. When it does snow, you have to race outside and enjoy it because it'll be gone in no time. This snow fell on Tuesday and was still there on Friday! It's been a couple of years since there's been a good snow that didn't melt within 6 hours here. Even when we do get a good one though, we don't have a good hill close by. So it was a treat to be sled riding at Nana's.

The kids talked Papa (my dad) into going down a few times. Daniel would scream about getting onto the sled, but he laughed all the way down the hill.

Dad and Daniel went down the hill and wiped out...Brenna ran down to get the sled.

We only lasted about 20 minutes on the "slopes" that afternoon. The guy who owns the farm across the road from my grandparents was spreading manure over his fields, and the smell was beyond atrocious. I started to gag shortly after we got out there and had to go in so I didn't throw up. It was awful. I can't imagine living next to that. It bothers Nana most when she wants to be out in her pool, but the smell is overwhelming.

An old friend of the family fixed the van while we were there and it drove home beautifully. And speaking of cars, Michael took mine in to have the fan blower motor fixed while I was gone. It was making a loud crazy sound when we turned on the heat. Turns out we didn't need a new fan blower motor. Some squirrel (Chuck or Chuckie?) was using my car to store acorns for the winter! The fan area was stuffed full of acorns which didn't allow it to spin and thus, made that crazy sound. Much cheaper to fix, though!

Cookie Day

Ever since I was 6 months old my mom and I have made Christmas sugar cookies. When I was little and we lived in Ohio, the neighbor boys would sometimes come over to do the cut outs and help with icing. Mom would set up a kid sized table in the kitchen and put us all to work. When we moved to Virginia the tradition continued. Aprons. Flour. Cookie Cutters. Icing. Cookies. It's a fun day and it means Christmas is almost here.


Brenna was too young her first Christmas (2 months) to join in. She sat in her bouncy seat and watched. Daniel, though, was 6 months old at his and he had his first sugar cookie that day. My mom reasoned that she had given me one at 6 months and she could give Daniel one at 6 months. It didn't have any icing on it and he had to gum it down, but he loved it.


Uncle Stephen (my brother) was around to help out this year. He sat at the kiddie table and decorated lots of cookies with Daniel. I suspect he might have also taught Daniel how to sneak a taste of the icing by dipping a finger in the bowl.

This year we waited to do cookie day until my sister arrived home from SC. Mom and I had an ambitious plan for baking. 5 different kinds. We made sugar cookies, peanut butter with Hershey kisses, snickerdoodles, cherry cheesecake cookies, and frosted brown sugar cookies. We got all five kinds made, including Kristin's (Stephen's girlfriend) variation on the peanut butter cookies...to use a peanut butter cup instead of a Hershey kiss. They were actually really good. The frosted brown sugar cookies, though....not so much. : )

Aunt Becca and Daniel

Uncle Chris (Rebecca's husband) and Brenna with a finished cookie

Daniel sneaking a cookie before they were iced

Saying Goodbye

Goodbyes are so hard. Yesterday we said goodbye to my aunt and grandma because they were heading home to Ohio. Their visit lasted less than 48 hours.

They arrived at my parents on Friday evening so I took the kids over for a while. Saturday they went shopping and in the evening we all went to Glorious Christmas Nights. On the way back we stopped for coffee and hot chocolate at Starbucks. Dad made apple dumplings earlier in the day so he served them up while we cheered for Pittsburgh. (Disclaimer: "We" does not include Stephen's girlfriend, Kristin, though she handled the WV loss gracefully. : )

Sunday morning Brenna sang with her choir at church in the traditional service. Afterward the tears began to fall as we said our goodbyes. For 20 years we've been saying goodbye as one of us leaves for home, but something about this time was particularly difficult. Even Brenna cried as she hung on to Kalf. Watching a 5 year old cry with such sadness is hard on the heart. She and I sat on a bench to settle our emotions as Kalf and Grandma walked down the hall to the door of the church. It was a rough morning.

Grandma and Brenna - roughly 11:30 PM Saturday night

Daniel and Kalf - sometime late Saturday night

The Sheriff's Report: Cow In The Road

I'm originally from a small town in Ohio, where they actually publish the police reports in the newspaper. Everything from the serious to the cows that got loose and blocked the road. I love reading those reports whenever we go 'home' to visit. A while back, I discovered that they are now published online! So today, I'm sharing the fun.

This is why it is so important to learn the rules of punctuation. A missing apostrophe makes the following report pretty funny!

Animal complaint

At 8:45 p.m. Nov. 18, an officer was dispatched to the 9500 block of Western Reserve in reference to two dogs on his property. The complainant believed the dogs to be his neighbors. The officer contacted the neighbor who stated his dogs were inside and that is where they have been most of the evening. The officer advised the complainant that if the dogs returned to call the dog warden because they were not the neighbors.


I included this report all because of the last sentence. Weren't you worried about it?

Accident

At 12:15 a.m. Wednesday, police responded to the Super USA store at 1680 South Lincoln Ave. where the vehicle operated by Jane C. Miller, 81, 1920 Maple St., pulled into the parking lot approaching the sidewalk and hit the gas instead of the brake and struck Otto Potts, 45, 239050 state Route 39, Salineville, a pedestrian, pushing him into a pop machine. Potts suffered leg injuries and was taken to the hospital and Miller was cited for failure to control. The pop machine was heavily damaged.


What can I say? They did what?

A Randel Road, Hanoverton, woman reported Wednesday someone she knows stole her clothes from her home.


See! I told you!

Animal complaint

At 10:24 a.m. Nov. 10, an officer was dispatched to Middletown Road in reference to a loose cow. Officer located the cow and secured it inside the fence.



For more reports, or to pass the time when you can't sleep, go to www.salemnews.net. Click on Local News Digest on the right side, then scroll to the articles titled Police, Sheriff, or Municipal.

On Sassy Comments and Church

Saturday night there was a birthday party for my little guy at Uncle Randy and Aunt Tina's house.



As the crowd died down a little, Randy built a fire in his side yard. Those of us who were still there, took lawn chairs out and sat together just visiting. Tina brought out the stuff to make hot dogs and smores so the kids were cooking marshmallows, and Brenna announced that this was her first campfire EVER!

Speaking of Brenna, I just have to tell this story: This summer we will be going on vacation to Tennessee with Randy and Tina and a few other families, including Eric and Michelle. (Eric is Tina's nephew on her side of the family. I am Randy's niece. Thought that might clarify who's who.) Anyway, at the campfire, Brenna asked for a hot dog. It was already 10 o'clock and I told her it was too late to be eating a hot dog. The rest of the group disagreed...and insisted that I should let her cook a hot dog at her first campfire EVER! So I gave in. Randy helped her cook it and when it was ready, I got her bun ready. If you were there, this is what you would've heard:

Randy: Hey Brenna - what do you want on your hot dog?
Brenna: ketchup please
Eric: You have to mustard on your hot dog
Brenna: I want ketchup on it.
Eric: You're in Ohio. You have to have mustard on your hot dog.
Brenna: I don't like mustard.
Eric: Well if your gonna put ketchup on it, I'll just have to eat your hot dog.
Brenna: You better quit teasing me or you're not gonna go on vacation with us!
I'm not sure I've ever been so proud of her!

So Brenna and I spent the night at Randy and Tina's. I stayed up 'till 1 talking again. Brenna slept with Sarah and Ashley - 3 in a bed. Sweetest thing you ever saw!

Sunday morning we had the opportunity to go to Damascus Friends Church [Friends Beliefs] with Randy and Tina. Brenna went to class with Ashley - in the first and second grade class. I dropped Daniel off in the nursery and went to the gym where they are currently holding their services during the summer months. Their worship was awesome...(that's my way of saying I knew all the songs. : ) People felt free to raise their hands in worship, which showed how comfortable they were. The pastor spoke only a little, but I was totally drawn in by the speaker. His message was titled "What would Jesus say to LeBron James" (For those, like me, who don't know who he is - He grew up in Akron and plays basketball for Cleveland.) The overall challenge from the message was to serve others. James is often nicknamed "King James" and "The Chosen One". The point was that The Chosen One is one who serves. It was great-and full of humor, which always makes a sermon better, right? Afterwards, we picked up the kids and got hot chocolate in the Way Cafe. I was very impressed, but more importantly, I was glad to know that my cousins are growing up in such a grounded and active church.

Ohio Food

When we visit Ohio, they feed us well! Friday night we ate supper at Nana's house. And she brought out the good corn! The good corn is sweet corn that was picked and frozen on the same day last summer. It's awesome. She cooks it on the stove smothered in butter, salt and pepper until it's boiling and heated all the way through. aaaaahhhhh........ the memories. That corn is such a treat for us that I called Stephen (my brother) to brag. He needed to know that he chose staying in Richmond for his girlfriend's birthday over Nana's good corn!! What was he thinking?????

I didn't take a picture of the corn, but we did set the table with the pretty china plates!

Saturday evening my family threw a birthday party for Daniel. Two things caught my eye on the table. First, and most important because it's a sweet, was M.A.'s sweet rolls. I wish I'd thought to take a picture of them because I'm not sure I can describe them well enough. The pan is larger than a large round pizza. The rolls are made in a pie shape and extend to the middle where there is one center round roll. They're covered in icing and the sight alone is enough to raise your blood sugar. Those rolls are absolutely scrumptious. I almost called Stephen again to brag. The other thing that caught my eye was a vegetable pizza. I had almost asked if someone would make that, but it showed up anyway. It was so good I got the last leftover slice Sunday afternoon, too!


Monday morning we started our usual routine of goodbyes. We packed up at Nana and Pap's, then headed two miles down the road to my other grandparent's house. As we walked into the kitchen, I noticed two boxes sitting on the kitchen island. Donut boxes! Oh I was getting excited! They were from the Dutch Haus bakery. Aunt Suz had brought them down just that morning! Mom and I split a cream stick and it was heavenly. Years ago, when we were kids, Nana always had a box of cream sticks waiting for us when we arrived in Ohio. No matter what time of night it was when we pulled in, even 3 AM, we'd always get a cream stick and a glass of milk. Then the store where she bought them changed owners and the bakery must've changed their recipe, because they weren't as good. She stopped buying them for us about 7 or 8 years ago. But these cream sticks from the Dutch Haus....they were the real thing. They were so good.

So, clearly, we were spoiled rotten this trip. Everywhere we turned we found comfort food! Now I just have to drop the 5 pounds I gained over the weekend!

How Our Trip Began

Whew! What a trip! For the first time EVER, we didn't make it all the way to Ohio in one trip. My dad was too tired to keep driving and we stopped overnight in Frostburg, Maryland. And what a crazy adventure that was. After unloading our well packed van and dragging suitcases, pillows, cosmetic bags, kids, and a pack-n-play up to the second floor, we started the bedtime routine. PJs, bathroom breaks, teeth brushing, diaper changes, etc. As Brenna hurried out of the bathroom, she somehow pulled the door over her big toe, where it got stuck. I couldn't budge the door either way, without yanking it and taking some skin along. She screamed. It was 11:45. We were in a hotel. And once she started screaming in pain (and I have no doubt it hurt really, really bad!) Daniel felt the need to join her in sympathy.

So here we were, so tired, in a hotel room at 11:45 at night, two screaming children, three very tired adults, and the cell phone rang. It was Michael.

He had an urgent prayer request for a relational situation unfolding back home. I had no choice but to ask if I could call him back in the morning. I briefed him on our last 15 minutes, promised I wasn't being unsympathetic, and hung up. I felt so bad.

Mom managed to get Brenna calmed down with a wet washcloth wrapped around her toe to ease the stinging. As soon as she settled we turned out the lights and laid Daniel down. He screamed some more, but seemed to be moaning himself to sleep.

And that's when I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep. Across the room, I began to hear the soft beginnings of a very tired Dad snoring. Then a tickle formed in my throat and no matter how hard I fought it, in the end, I had to cough.

You guessed it. I coughed. Daniel screamed. And Brenna said, "Mommy, you woke up Daniel!"

Slowly, he worked himself back to sleep as the air conditioner turned on and off abruptly every few minutes. Unfortunately, I did not sleep. I heard baby noises. I heard snoring. (lots of snoring) I rolled over. I kicked blankets off. I pulled blankets on. I listened to the child in the hallway being shushed by a parent. At some point, I figured it had to be getting close to morning, so when the AC turned on again, I sat up and squinted hard to see the clock.

3:14 - You have got to be kidding me.

Somewhere around 4 I finally fell asleep. We got up about 7 and had breakfast. I think we left the hotel about 8:30. We pulled into Nana's driveway at 12:30. I desperately wanted to go to sleep, but, as it turned out, it was 1:30 AM before my head found the pillow again. And that's how our trip began.....